Archive for February, 2011

Breaking Free

Why do we always place boundaries on ourselves? Why if we do something new do we feel uncomfortable? Are we really afraid of being judged?

If I am having fun doing something, I hope I don’t care what people think. The trouble is, I know that I do care. I constantly get that uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what I’m doing whilst surrounded by people who do. It’s a feeling that makes me want to stop what I’m doing. Why do I let myself defeat myself? Odds are, everyone else is also preoccupied by what other people are thinking. They care too much about their own humiliation to bother causing mine.

Starting today I am going to do everything with that in mind. If I’m having fun, I’m going to ignore that uncomfortable feeling. I am going to push my own boundaries. No longer will my voice shake or my hands tremble. I will go forward into all new things with the knowledge that not everyone is judging me. Sure, some people will, but I need to not care about them. There are too many wonderful things that I want to do and experience to be stopped by feeling awkward.

Life is awkward. In that awkwardness is where we find our true beauty. We find where we belong and who we belong with. It’s a big risk, stepping outside our own boundaries, but I think I’ve realized that it may be worth it.

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New goal: write every day

I have attempted to start a blog before. I got three posts in and then forgot about it. I’m going to try a little harder to write this time. I really want to write. I have many things floating around in my head that I want to share. Are all of them earth shattering revelations? No, of course not. Most posts will be the semi-idiotic ramblings of a 21-year-old college student. I think my thoughts are very important, but not everyone will share that opinion.

Basically, I just need an outlet. I don’t want to bore my roommates and family by constantly talking to them. I also don’t want to clog up Facebook and Twitter, because I find it annoying when people post multiple times a day.  My goal for this blog is to at least write once a week. My life isn’t that interesting, but I do like to talk about worldly events and current events. I was raised to be aware of what’s going on and to analyse everything.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what this blog evolves into.

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